A happy relationship ends with a happy marriage! But did you know it requires efforts and consistency at all times? People say marriages are made in heaven, well so is the love. A lot of you tend to hunt for the ‘perfect’ match instead of becoming the perfect match for someone. Finding the right one can time and with time comes, patience and efforts. Yes, you date quite a few to many people and end up marrying the only ‘one’ you fall in love with. You realize that with that special person, feelings are different than the rest. You go ahead taking vows to love, protect and stay loyal to each other. Moreover, you both promise to be with one another through every up and down, thick and thin. However, over time, how many of you actually stick to these words? Marriage requires commitment, a lot of efforts and also, more importantly, to keep aside all the egos and differences.
The task of marriage is never easy. The most loving couple also fall apart. For some couples, divorce comes in early, for some they choose to separate within a few years. Whereas, there are some couples who spend years together and still want to get separated. To talk about why exactly marriages fall apart is difficult to pinpoint, as every relationship differs from one another. There could either just one reason or several.
However, to discuss this further, here are 6 main reasons why marriages fall apart.
1. Unmet expectations
We all know that we expect something from marriage, no matter how mature and independent we are. One of the spouses will always expect and it can be as petty as you may think. Come home early or something serious. Expecting is fine and must be communicated to each other too. However, problems arise when expectations are not met. People tend to build a pile on reminiscing all the times they were hurt. This is the point which makes you wonder the priority of your spouses’ life. The best way to avoid is to let the other person know about your feelings before the relationship ends.
Unnecessary addictions such as smoking, drinking, gambling, drugs etc can be some of them. Often people find it difficult to give up on these and some don’t see a reason to stop. This can create a lot of mental stress on your partner and may lead to significant quarrels and arguments. Sometimes, they can also lead to domestic abuse. The effect of such an environment is not healthy and can also affect children growing up. However, as they say, old habits don’t die quickly. The other partner simply finds it easier and comfortable to end the marriage.
3. Clash of egos
It’s true that ego kills the relationship and so can end a strong marriage too. The base of any relationship is to listen to your partner and their point of view. Sometimes, we just do not want to listen or accept a certain point because it may hurt the ego. Often winning an argument becomes important than your partner. This, in turn, makes you lose the relationship, which people usually fail to understand at the moment. To avoid clashes, it is very essential to understand and accept your partner as equal, if not more.
4. Lack of self-care
It’s a given that when any relationship initially starts on a dating period, one tends to put a lot of efforts to look good. So, why stop after marriage? People completely forget to take care of themselves. They tend to gain weight, stop going to the gym, or even avoid regular exercise. They stop investing time on themselves. In today’s era, people are far from accepting the truth, looks do matter. If your partner does not look up to the mark, the other one is likely to lose interest and drift away.
5. Unhappy sex life
Intimacy plays a very important role in any relationship and marriage. A healthy bond of physical chemistry between two people before or after marriage is surely important in keeping the bond alive. So, not getting a physical touch from your partner can have a negative effect on your mind. It could be due to various reasons such as stress at work, hardly getting time for personal life and so on, which does not allow people being able to physically be with one another. Thus, this leads to both partners losing interest overall.
Infidelity can actually create the most serious damage to any marriage. If one of your partners is involved in infidelity, they fall out of love. It will never be the same, as it’s not easy for a person to accept that the one they love would cheat on them. This can cause a lot of distress to the other partner who might end up choosing to end the marriage.
If you are currently married and experiencing one of the above, we recommend you speak with one another to understand the differences before ending the marriage union. You can also try a couple of therapies which can help you make a wise decision.